Grief & Loss!

This week, I received the news I didn’t want to hear. A close family relative passed away that we all knew would happen. Writing this blog today, I wish to share my thoughts for this loss, previous experiences and channeling my loss through words which can be beneficial.

You never quite know how you will react as it hasn’t been consistent. An example I can give is when my Grandmother passed away I reacted differently to how I thought, as we were close and didn’t grieve in the way I thought I would. The circumstances were different as I was abroad at the time, and didn’t  know for about a month until I returned home. I am quite an  emotional person by nature, which is a good thing in perspective to a generation or two ago when you tended not to show your emotions, especially in British society.

The worst I have experienced is when it happens suddenly and unexpectedly… especially if they are quite young. You may find you asking WHY? They had their whole life ahead of them? It isn’t an answer you can provide or what seems logical, I have heard the “When your time is up, it’s up” and it’s  in Gods hands as best answer, and the only crumb of comfort you can find and people hold onto this.

There are several phases of grief that we go through: the initial emotional feelings of  loss, shock and sadness to coming to terms with the situation. This could be over days, weeks or months…even years. In fact some people never truly get over their situation. John Lennon never truly got over the sudden loss of his mother when he was a teenager and wrote some songs about her.Some people are spiritual and through their  beliefs, inner feelings and thoughts can come to terms with grief and loss easier than perhaps others. Which may be mystifying to those who aren’t so spiritual as to why they seem to readily to accept mortality and are able to let go much easier then others. This maybe the best way as to deal with grief and loss, however painful the circumstances were.

I still think about my grandfather and a cousin who passed away When I was a child, and never really knew. I sometimes wish I was old enough to have known them better, the sound of their voices and simply visiting them. To this day I remember what my mother said and how I reacted when my sister and I were told about my disabled cousin. This is a fact everybody has to come to terms with and at least I have some memories to hold on to, and I am grateful for that.
I remember when I was about eight years of age being terrified of death for some reason, how this came about, who knows. Therefore while we are in this world, appreciate it, be happy and make the most of the opportunities that arise. But perhaps more importantly don’t waste it!!
These are my thoughts.

 

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